The year: either 1973 or 1974. The time: between 1.00am/2.00am. The
place: my bed-sit in Rathmines, Dublin. I was sitting on the side of my
bed totally frustrated at not being able to get the words out of my head
onto my notepad (the old journalist style spiral variety!). I wanted
to scream out my fragmented thoughts to anyone who would listen but in
that dark hour which is neither night nor day my anguish would have
fallen upon sleeping ears. So it was I wrote these words:-
Dark Thoughts
Everything seems so strange.
I am trying to write exactly what I feel but seem only able to describe it in my mind.
When I try to write it down it all becomes meaningless.
It's no longer a feeling, just letters forming words in a sentence.
It's like living in a fantasy or dream world,
Everything is just what I want it to be because I make it that way.
I create my thoughts and live them within myself.
This to me IS my real world.
I see things only as they are through the sleeping eyes of fantasy,
Then abruptly the hand of reality shakes me awake.
I'm frightened.
I am forced to emerge screaming from the warm womb-like sanctuary I've created deep within my imagination.
Outside, a violent world is waiting.
© Ann Brien 2011
Above image via: www.ownbeat.co.uk
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"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong" Joseph Chilton Pearse, American author.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Song For The Innocents (Song)
Next month will mark the thirty seventh anniversary of the Dublin and Monaghan Bombings.
Like all moments in history that mark death, whether it be expected or
untimely, or as in this case the callous, barbaric murder of thirty
three innocent men, women and children (twenty six people in Dublin,
seven in Monaghan) May 17, 2011 will not only be a painful reminder for
us not directly affected (although my friend was injured and had to have
immediate surgery on her hand), but for the people who lost loved ones
on that dark day, it will undoubtedly only serve to reopen the wounds
that have in most cases never healed.
I was so shocked and distraught following that horror that nine days later on Sunday morning, May 26, I wrote these words in my bedsit in Rathmines which would become my protest song against the use of killing machines of any kind.
© Ann Brien 2011
Above image: Me in 1971
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I was so shocked and distraught following that horror that nine days later on Sunday morning, May 26, I wrote these words in my bedsit in Rathmines which would become my protest song against the use of killing machines of any kind.
Living Will Go On
(i)
They say that life's for living
We must live it every day.
Don't talk of hate for others
Be careful what you say.
For love is all around us
Share it each and everyone
Then when we love together
Living will go on.
(ii)
I met an old man yesterday
We walked beside a stream.
He told me how he longed to smile
How freedom was his dream.
So if we walk beside this man
Well, things they can't go wrong.
We'll all join hands together
And living will go on.
(iii)
Child of war lay down your gun
What right have you to kill?
You can't win what you're fighting for
You know you never will.
So forget about destruction
'Cause wars just can't be won,
Together let's try to find lost peace
Then living will go on.
© Ann Brien 2011
Above image: Me in 1971
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Saturday, April 2, 2011
The Summerhouse
The summers of my childhood hold wonderful memories of Sunday afternoons
when my mother and father would take me to visit uncles Bill and John
in Lucan, a picturesque village about twelve miles outside Dublin.
The highlight of those trips was entering the house they lived in. It was a single storey, possibly thatched roof, creepy cottage set deep in a field surrounded by trees that shrouded the house like menacing tentacles. The main room with its open fireplace had one of those large wooden benches with the backs you see in period films but what I remember most about that room was the total lack of natural light mainly because the window was tiny. What more than made up for it though was the warm glow from the turf fire where black iron cooking pots hung from a black iron rail.
Outside the house was the huge field which had a gate lodge at its entrance. I got to know its occupants simply because they had a baby and of course wherever there was a baby to be held I was there.
Shortly before I'd leave uncle Bill would take me for a walk along a pathway behind the house which led to an old summerhouse. Uncle John, his brother, because of his poor eyesight would remain in the cottage for the duration smoking his pipe and chatting with my parents.
I keep promising myself to return there some day but I think what's preventing me from going is the fear that the strange little cottage, which incidentally reminds me of the little house in the Hansel and Gretal fairy tale, may have been demolished to make way for a housing estate. I sincerely hope I'm wrong.
In order to preserve my memory of those lovely times I've put together a few words of dedication to both the summerhouse and my long departed uncles. May they rest in peace.
The Summerhouse
Along the winding path we'd stroll
William pointing out a pretty flower here and there,
I'd ask its name, he'd tell, but the passing years have stolen its label.
This sanctuary with its soft earthy footing,
Framed on either side by trees with arms entwined like fragile ballerinas,
Fed the hunger of my fledgling imagination.
The gurgling unhurried weir sauntering alongside our footsteps,
The cooing wood pigeons pledging love across the treetops,
Both these sounds created for me a world momentarily devoid of suffering.
At the end of that magical pathway stood the summerhouse;
Its round frame enveloping me in its paint-flaked wooden arms
I'd dance, round and round, my own arms outstretched
Touching the vertical bars until I was dizzy, dizzy, dizzy!
Exhausted, I'd stretch along its circular seat amidst the bird feathers
And dead leaves from winters long past.
Outside, William, or Uncle Bill as he was to me, would wait with
Job's patience for my emergence.
Then, hand in hand, we'd make our way back to the little house
Between the trees.
© Ann Brien 2011
Above image via: www.scenicreflections.com
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The highlight of those trips was entering the house they lived in. It was a single storey, possibly thatched roof, creepy cottage set deep in a field surrounded by trees that shrouded the house like menacing tentacles. The main room with its open fireplace had one of those large wooden benches with the backs you see in period films but what I remember most about that room was the total lack of natural light mainly because the window was tiny. What more than made up for it though was the warm glow from the turf fire where black iron cooking pots hung from a black iron rail.
Outside the house was the huge field which had a gate lodge at its entrance. I got to know its occupants simply because they had a baby and of course wherever there was a baby to be held I was there.
Shortly before I'd leave uncle Bill would take me for a walk along a pathway behind the house which led to an old summerhouse. Uncle John, his brother, because of his poor eyesight would remain in the cottage for the duration smoking his pipe and chatting with my parents.
I keep promising myself to return there some day but I think what's preventing me from going is the fear that the strange little cottage, which incidentally reminds me of the little house in the Hansel and Gretal fairy tale, may have been demolished to make way for a housing estate. I sincerely hope I'm wrong.
In order to preserve my memory of those lovely times I've put together a few words of dedication to both the summerhouse and my long departed uncles. May they rest in peace.
The Summerhouse
Along the winding path we'd stroll
William pointing out a pretty flower here and there,
I'd ask its name, he'd tell, but the passing years have stolen its label.
This sanctuary with its soft earthy footing,
Framed on either side by trees with arms entwined like fragile ballerinas,
Fed the hunger of my fledgling imagination.
The gurgling unhurried weir sauntering alongside our footsteps,
The cooing wood pigeons pledging love across the treetops,
Both these sounds created for me a world momentarily devoid of suffering.
At the end of that magical pathway stood the summerhouse;
Its round frame enveloping me in its paint-flaked wooden arms
I'd dance, round and round, my own arms outstretched
Touching the vertical bars until I was dizzy, dizzy, dizzy!
Exhausted, I'd stretch along its circular seat amidst the bird feathers
And dead leaves from winters long past.
Outside, William, or Uncle Bill as he was to me, would wait with
Job's patience for my emergence.
Then, hand in hand, we'd make our way back to the little house
Between the trees.
© Ann Brien 2011
Above image via: www.scenicreflections.com
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Friday, June 18, 2010
Will She Free Him? (Song)
Will She Free Him?
(i)
He lies alone in his room cold and bare
She left a long time ago
But he doesn't know why she leaves him.
His mind will trace her for millions of miles
Many lovers to come
Will she free him?
(ii)
He'll dine in a cafe and the one he will choose
Won't have a table with wine
But he'll think it's fine
It shall please him.
Through the long lonely night he'll wait in the dark
Alone in his pain
Will she free him?
(iii)
He sits in the station it's raining outside
The wind and the cold never end
Why don't his friends come to see him?
The journey is long not going nowhere
And when he reaches the end
Will she free him?
(Written in my bed-sit in Rathmines, Dublin sometime between 1974 - 1975).
© Ann Brien 2010
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Reasons (Song)
Reasons
(i)
Warm was the sunlight that burned in the skies
Reflecting the loveliness born in your eyes.
O why did you have to go?
Your reasons you never did say.
(ii)
We loved in our forests, we played in the sand
You helped me through bad times
I can't understand
Just why you had to go
Your reasons you never did say.
(iii)
Remember the first time you played me your song
I danced to the music while morning was young
O why did you have to go my love?
Your reasons you never did say
No, your reasons you never did say.
© Ann Brien 2010
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Thursday, July 30, 2009
A Study In Apprehension
These words describe my anxiety which I felt each morning as I
headed off to school with my mother. I have a vivid memory of walking
past the red brick secondary school then turning left into the final
laneway which took me to the side gate of my school. Always hoping for
any excuse not to go, winter-time usually granted my wish in the form
of burst water pipes caused by the severe frost we encountered back
then. I can still see and hear the semi-frozen snow crunching beneath
my strong shoes.
A Study In Apprehension
Turning into the laneway
My six year old mind
Is once again filled with anxiety.
What shall I learn today?
More to the point
What will I not understand?.
Almost there now,
Past the red bricks
And the four stone slit windows
Then sharp turn left
I'm on the final leg of my journey.
To my left
The red brick building
Beckons to its charges,
The solitary cross on its rooftop
Portraying a false sense of holiness.
No going back now,
Mother's tight handgrip
Preventing all chance of escape.
Greying snow crunches
Beneath my sensible school shoes.
© Ann Brien 2009
Above image taken by me in the summer of 2008.
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A Study In Apprehension
Turning into the laneway
My six year old mind
Is once again filled with anxiety.
What shall I learn today?
More to the point
What will I not understand?.
Almost there now,
Past the red bricks
And the four stone slit windows
Then sharp turn left
I'm on the final leg of my journey.
To my left
The red brick building
Beckons to its charges,
The solitary cross on its rooftop
Portraying a false sense of holiness.
No going back now,
Mother's tight handgrip
Preventing all chance of escape.
Greying snow crunches
Beneath my sensible school shoes.
© Ann Brien 2009
Above image taken by me in the summer of 2008.
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